Why should Marital Problems Lead to Divorce Questions?

The huge increase of divorces in our society has made it easier for people to consider divorce as an option, even when it should be the furthest thing from a person's mind. I don't mean to imply that there isn't a buildup of tension or frustration which brings people to the point of asking divorce questions. I'm only saying that if divorce was less accessible as an option, people would start doing something about their mismanaged marriage at a much earlier stage.

There is a certain hopelessness that funnels people towards divorce rather than solutions for their marital problems. The fact of the matter is that traditional and widely accepted methods of dealing with marital problems obviously don't work (a 50 to 60% divorce rate for first-time marriages is pretty gruesome). Further, those who profess to be marriage helpers always have a lawyer or two and a mediator or two in their Rolodex for those couples they admit they cannot help. It is a well known "secret" that over 70% of those who go to a marriage counselor end up in divorce court within a year.

So what do you do when you have marital problems?

There are Nontraditional and Effective Ways to Help your Struggling Marriage

My own methods of helping couples with their marriage (available in Lessons For A Happy Marriage) may be unique, but they are not the only solution. There are numerous organizations and individuals who have responded to this dire need in our society by creating all kinds of workshops, books, programs, retreats and what have you. Some do it for profit and many others, like me, do it because we wish to relieve suffering; I like to think that is the best kind of selfishness there is. The point is we belong to an unaffiliated group who care and do what we can to help you. I think there are some questions you need to ask yourself before you ask divorce questions.

1. Is your family worthy of your effort to save it?
2. Are you capable of love and commitment? Notice how I didn't ask if you thought your spouse is.
3. Do you believe you are too stupid to have a good marriage?
4. Do you believe you are undeserving of a good marriage?
5. Don't you think God wants you to have a good marriage?

A Marriage Based on Spiritual Principles Makes Perfect Sense

One of the reasons for the decay of marriage in our society is the effort to exclude God from our day to day lives. I'm not talking about religion; I'm talking about God who doesn't care why you love Him or how you show your love to Him. I'm talking about basing marriage on sound spiritual principles because marriage was invented by God for us, his spiritual children.

Marriage was not invented by a licensing bureau in a city trying to raise revenue to cover a deficit. It was created by God for the purposes of controlling procreation and learning how to love unconditionally. Because marriage is spiritual, it requires the knowledge of core spiritual principles and correct behaviors in order to succeed. The good news is that it is simple and intuitive once you know about it.

Don't waste any more time or psychic energy on unnecessary suffering. Find a method that you are comfortable with that is based on spiritual principles and gives you immediate results. If a marriage counselor can promise you they have strayed from their education to the benefit of all then I praise them. But if they tell you this can take months or years they are not the right method. Learning how to have a great marriage is as simple as reading a manual.