The Perfect Marriage

In my early twenties I was hanging out with a friend who asked me about my love life. By then I was getting more and more into philosophy and I told him I was still looking for the perfect woman. He told me he knew where to look. I asked him what he meant and he said she could be found by finding the perfect man. Cute, but irrelevant; lets be honest, the perfect men and women we seek are projections of what we think suits our whim de jour. On the other hand a perfect marriage has nothing at all to do with being perfect. If it took degrees of individual perfection to have a perfect or even decent marriage, 99% of us could expect a lifetime of misery. If we had to be psychologically "sound" it would be all over for all of us. I'm not kidding. It is not farfetched to say that we are a planet in the early stages of human evolution. Just look around! But that does not mean a perfect marriage is impossible or even all that hard to achieve. It just means you have to know what to do...here is what you need:

1) A willingness to accept flaws in others
2) A desire to give love unconditionally
3) A desire to be perfectly loyal
4) A desire to respect the free will and the choices of others
5) A desire to praise noble efforts and ignore mistakes.

Make your spouse the most important person on Earth

Environment, in order of importance, starts within your own mind. Your thoughts and feelings constitute the environment that is closest to you, more than even your physical environment. How you choose to perceive things is completely up to you, you have free will. Some may want to argue that what happens to a person will determine how they feel and think. But ultimately you still have the choice regardless of whatever may be happening.

The next closest environment is your family, and particularly your spouse. This is the environment you will wish to protect. Be an avid environmentalist and protect your spouse! Your spouse is the most important person to you because of how their life affects you. So it stands to reason that if they are happy your environment will be more conducive to your own happiness. Although you can't make your spouse happy you can surely create the dynamics that make that choice a lot easier for them. Think about how you would feel and behave if you were in the presence of one who you might think of as the most important person, someone with great charisma and influence. That is the correct attitude to have towards your spouse! When you treat your spouse with complete respect they cannot help but respond positively. But remember to have no expectations!

A perfect marriage begins and ends with you

It is all up to you. Your spouse is not perfect and never will be. If you are thinking that a perfect marriage is based on some tit for tat kind of deal with romance thrown in it is time to get real. You will be only as happy as you choose to be regardless of your situation. Don't predicate your own thoughts and behavior upon the words and deeds of others. If you do I guarantee disappointment. Try to be a perfect spouse because that will improve your relationship by magnitudes. When you understand this principle and put it into action you will have the perfect marriage.