Is it Possible to have a Happy Marriage Quickly?

I hope you noticed that the title does not leave room for failure. The question is one of speed rather than whether it is possible to have a happy marriage or not. That is because I view all marriages the same way I view anything and everything else. At some level a marriage is mechanical in nature. Therefore marriage should be viewed as a functional process that works according to the laws of cause and effect that are specific to it. If you are in a marital relationship that has gone down many wrong paths it could take a bit to get reoriented. But if you have not been snagged by too many bad habits it might not take long at all to get back on track. When something is malfunctioning it is time to get out the owners manual.

Studying marital relationships will make you safe and sure-footed

Our societies have spent a lot of our combined resources to study the natural laws that affect us. In areas such as medical science, for instance, we know most of the causes of everything from simple heartburn to cancer. Great strides in cures come from an ever-developing system of knowledge. In the science of aeronautics, to cite another example, we have used what we have learned to build bigger and faster planes (these improved planes have changed our understandings of time and space). More importantly we have put so much attention on studying cause and effect where it applies to flight that getting on an airplane is stepping into one of the safest environments there is. We study these subjects of cause and effect in school. Every kid learns math and science.

But none of the kids are learning the rules and science of relationships and marriage.

Big or little marital problems can sometimes be determined quickly

When I was a teenager I had an awful thing happen to me; my car's transmission was making weird sounds and not shifting properly. Even though I was handy and had the experience of rebuilding engines the transmission was like the great mystery of life to me. I brought it to the local transmission repair shop and started thinking about how I was going to raise the inevitable hundreds for the inevitable repair. The transmission just seemed to be shot and I was preparing for the worst. I even had to leave it overnight. But the symptoms did not mean what I thought they meant. A tiny vacuum hose came loose and there was no charge for the five-second repair. My car ran great and I was I happy! The repair shop used their expertise to do what they were supposed to do. They discovered the problem and were honest in their evaluation and repair... that's what I do too.

Some symptoms reflect common and simple problems

When a potential client calls me or someone writes me through my website I always try to find the simplest and shortest solution. To make money off of someone's suffering is heinous. At least 70% of the calls I get are from people who need a quick attitude adjustment or helpful reminder to behave properly. Those who do need some personal help are never pandered to.  I always think of the kids who are ultimately the ones getting nailed by marital problems. My duty is to serve them. I serve them through their parents.

The usual simple fixes are

1) Treat your spouse the way you did before you were engaged
2) Say "I love you" at least three times every day
3) Treat your spouse as the most important person in the world
4) Think and say only praise about your spouse

For those who read my articles and straighten out their marriage I am thrilled. To those who need my book, Lessons For A Happy Marriage, I offer that.  If my system is not working for them, my hope is they find a system that does and tells me about it so I can offer it to others as well.

Your family is important and giving up must never be considered an option. Your children need you. Never be a victim of what turns out to be a little thingy. Study your lessons and be the expert of your marriage. You can do it.