A Marriage Crisis should Not Lead to Divorce Questions

A marriage crisis is an alarm that strongly signals a warning that it is time to ask questions, but not questions about divorce. Let lawyers and psychologists ask divorce questions. You need to ask what you need to do so you have a happy marriage!

Questions you are probably asking:

1. Are my spouse and I evil people?
2. Are my spouse and I stupid people?
3. Are my spouse and I masochists?
4. Are my spouse and I meant to suffer? (Still, no!)
5. Are my spouse and I quitters?
6. Why can't we make our relationship work even though we love each other?

If you were told to get in an airplane and fly it, I don't think you would attempt to unless you were a trained pilot. But when you got into marriage, you got into something that was way over your head because you had (have) no idea about what a marriage is or how to behave in one. Maybe when things were not going so well you got some good-intentioned advice from someone who had no business giving it; it's not your fault! Our culture is not supportive of relationship education.

There is No School I'm Aware of that Gives Marital Training

When you were getting close to driving age you made it a point to learn as much about driving as you could and eagerly anticipated getting behind the wheel with a competent instructor. If you were like virtually every other kid you started backseat driving long before you ever drove for the first time, even if you didn't say anything out loud.

Getting into a car is a pleasure when you know what you are doing, but it is downright dangerous if you don't know or if you ignore the basic rules. It makes no difference how slick or independent you are, if you try driving against a traffic light or on the wrong side of the road, it's going to hurt real bad.

Marriage is the same. If you know and follow the rules there is nothing on earth more wonderful. But if you never learn the basic principles that form and guide marriage, you are in trouble. You just need to know what those principles are!

Western Psychologists don't Know Didily about Marriage; They Get Divorced like Everyone Else

In the divorce world (where western psychologists are considered voodoo by most lawyers) psychologists really prove their fundamental ignorance. Their latest brainstorm for custody solutions is called "nesting." Nesting is where the children don't go from house to house; the parents do! The kids keep their rooms and the adults go back and forth - very few parents like it but some get bullied into trying it. They expect parents to move in and out of the family home so the children's lives are not disrupted. An idea like that is filled with seen and unseen problems, but it demonstrates the greatest defect in psychologists' core values.

You see, contemporary western psychology is a tree of mostly pseudo (false) knowledge that began with Sigmund Freud; an avowed atheist and cocaine addict. The teachings of Freudian psychology are essentially that man is psychological and material, that man's mind includes feeling and love, that God is nothing more than an abstract thought.

To psychologists, because there is no God, a "soul" is what you find on the bottom your foot. Therefore a building is a home because parents are interchangeable psychological "parts" of a child's life. To them a biological parent is no more important than any replacement mother or father; they are wrong!

Man is Primarily Spiritual (Soul) who Has a Mind (Psychological) and Body (Material)

When we are correctly identified as Souls who have minds and have bodies we can define marriage and proper interactions; not until. Once you understand the governing spiritual, psychological and physical principles, it is only a matter of prioritizing the beneficial and destructive behaviors; like when driving, staying on your side of the road is a basic, obvious principle.

Before I wrote Lessons For A Happy Marriage (which describes the whole thing in simple terms), I worked with folks who believed they were at the very end of their marital rope. But once they saw their marriage and themselves graphically laid out before them they were completely certain their marriage would work; it's that simple and obvious. My clients didn't fail.

So, don't give up. You just need to put your effort in the correct direction and everything will be much better than you have ever imagined, faster than you thought possible. You deserve the best marriage on earth.